Saturday, August 28, 2010

Does Jesus know me?

Jesus said: "Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not do [all sorts of miraculous things in your name]?!' Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'" (Matthew 7:22-23)

In What's So Amazing About Grace?, Philip Yancey makes an observation that startles me: "Pointedly, Jesus did not say 'You never knew me,' or 'You never knew the Father." . . . One of our main tasks, perhaps the main task, is to make ourselves known to God. Good works are not enough . . ." (p. 272)

I need to step back a moment to consider: what am I doing to make myself known to God? Actually, let me rephrase that: Am I letting God know me or am I just trying to do things for Him? Am I striving to be known by God? Am I drinking in His word daily, taking up the sword of the Spirit? Am I sharing with Him, praying consistently with all kinds of prayers and requests? (Eph. 6)

Jesus' words haunt me. Perhaps it's just what I need right now to snap me to attention.

Jesus, do you know me?

If not, I should sacrifice everything to make sure that He does.
Because, after all, it's the only thing that will matter in the end.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Time for Recovery

How crazy the last week has been. Actually, how crazy the last nine months have been. I had spine surgery last Thursday, July 29. Twenty-four years old and two weeks shy of my first wedding anniversary, and I went in for surgery. That was definitely not part of the plan. I had a benign tumor and a left process fracture at T7. . . painful, not dangerous . . . the tumor was still growing and started to get close to my spine. Time to take it out. Key word: had a tumor. It's gone!

And I'm relieved.
Ready to be done with the pain.
So excited to get back to normal living (Lord willing).
Happy to have the surgery over with.
I realize that some people struggle with pain and health issues for years, so I know that I am so blessed to have this diagnosed and removed within a 9-month period.

I give praise to Jesus for being so faithful through it all.
I have learned: He cares deeply about His children; He wants to walk through life with me; I need to cry out to Him first; and every occurrence in life can be used to bring Him glory.

Surgery recovery is not exactly a fun process. The narcotic I am taking to manage the pain causes the following: terrible headaches, dry mouth, sometimes makes me loopy, tiredness, and hallucinating dreams....which means very little sleep at night (for me and for Bryce). I spent the first 4 days just shuffling around. I still can't move my left arm very well. It's going to be a long road. I'm tired of reading (finished 3 books already) and watching HGTV shows on Hulu and catching up on sleep during the day. You know me: I want to be busy and productive and active. I guess God might have something to teach me during this recovery process, too.

Thanks for the prayers and encouragement and meals and visits and books.
Taking one step at a time (literally).
Jana Alexis