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12:37 a.m. -- Call from a case worker at our foster agency. There was a stabbing on the west side tonight, and now a 4 month old girl needs a home. Will you take her? We say yes. And fall back to sleep while we wait for a follow-up call.
1:56 a.m. -- Call from a state case worker. What side of town do you live on? I'm bringing the 4 month old to you right now. I sit up in bed. 4 months old....that means formula. What else? My sleepy brain is trying to process all of this. I can't wait to snuggle a little Hispanic girl.
1:59 a.m. -- Call from another state case worker. Never mind. We found another foster home that will take the 4 month old and her 7 year old brother so we don't have to separate them.
What in the world. What an emotional roller coaster in the middle of the night. Bryce rolled over and went right back to sleep. Needless to say, I did not for quite awhile.
Back in January we told our foster agency that we were ready to take a foster infant in hopes of adoption (newborn to 6 months). It is now the first week of May, and this has been our story over and over. We get a call.....we say "yes".....we wait to hear......and then they find another home or it falls through altogether. I lost count after the 5th or 6th time.
Up and down. Up and down.
My heart wants to say, "When, O Lord?"
But the word sovereign keeps coming to mind.
Did you know that the word sovereign is used 211 times in the book of Ezekiel? (I counted them this morning.) And over 100 of those times, Ezekiel writes, "This is what the Sovereign LORD says..." Over and over. The Sovereign LORD decreeing. The Sovereign LORD telling what is to come The Sovereign LORD saying what will be, according to His will and purpose and eternal-vision.
My vision is so small and finite.
And so, to this--to Him--I cling.
Ah, Sovereign LORD, You have made the heavens and the earth by Your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for You. . . . Oh great and powerful God, whose Name is the LORD Almighty, great are Your purposes and mighty are Your deeds. Your eyes are open to all the ways of men . . . Jeremiah 32:17-19
My eyes are fixed on You, O Sovereign LORD; in You I take refuge . . . Psalm 141:8
But as for me, I will always have hope;
I will praise You more and more.
My mouth will tell of Your righteousness,
of Your salvation all day long,
though I know not its measure.
I will come and proclaim Your mighty acts, O Sovereign LORD;
I will proclaim Your righteousness, Yours alone.
Since my youth, O God, You have taught me,
and to this day I declare Your marvelous deeds. Psalm 71:14-17